Hi there, I'm God. Yeah, yeah, I know, you thought I'd be taller. Cheesh, I created you people and sometimes even I don't get you, you know what I am saying? Some joker's standing here - bit of a problem with his brakes and now he's the new kid in paradise - and he's all with the "Yeah, right - you're God" like there's a height restriction on creating the universe or something. So I'm a couple of inches shorter than he is, so what? I'm God - get over it.
Anyways, don't get me started down that road 'cause I'm here to explain some stuff. It's real important stuff - kind of, you know, sweeping, if you get me. So, what I'm thinking here is that the best way to start doing this is to tell you about somethting that happenned - you know, show it to you as an example of what I'm talking about. This is somethting that happenned to Tom Cartwright. Tom's twenty-eight, he lives in Edinburgh, Scotland, and he's one of those - what do you call them? Those guys who do books for other people? - ghostwriters, that's it, he's one of them there ghostwriters. What I want you to keep in mind here is that - no, in fact, I'll come to that later. Right now, just listen whie I have Tom start to tell you his story.
Yeah, of course I can do that.
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